Traumaversary

Adoption is a beautiful thing.  The very fact that we have had the freedom to grow our family in this way continues to blow me away.  I just look at Bek's sweet, beautiful face and watch him interact with our family, and I am truly in awe of the blessing that has been given to us through adding him as our fifth member.

He is fun and silly and smart and musical and just amazing.

So much of this journey we've been on since he came home 11 months ago has been filled with joy.  We have learned to be sensitive to our little man's needs, which has helped us to be more sensitive to the needs of our other two children.  People often comment how well adjusted and attached he is to us, and their observations are accurate to what we experience at home.  Like I said, it's a beautiful thing.

In daily living, as we enjoy each other and learn about each other, it is easy to glaze over the fact that out of our joy, Bek's little life began with so much sorrow.  We are so thankful that he is OURS forever that sometimes we forget to pause and remember the price of his coming to our family.

In adoption, there is this thing called a "traumaversary".  I'm not entirely sure where it originates, but basically, it is the anniversary of a traumatic event in the life of an adopted child.  Some believe that children may act out or experience some PTSD-like symptoms on or around their own significant date(s) each year.  I tend to believe that while it is important to watch for this, it should also be a time of remembrance; a memorial day of sorts to remember the events and the people who sacrificed for our son.  My heart is broken for the loss that took place for Bek, for his family members who had to say good-bye, and for his care-takers as we took him from the orphanage.  I'm sad at all the decisions that had to be made and the hearts that had to be broken.

I am thankful, and so humbled, that I get to be Bek's mommy.  And so, today, June 2nd, I will hold my baby tightly, rock him, stroke his face and sing his song (as he requests when he's sleepy), and think about the two month old version of him as he was placed in the orphanage director's arms exactly two years ago.

And I'll ask God to grant peace to all who are affected by his traumaversary.  And then I'll kiss his cheeks and his big, beautiful lips, and I'll thank God that I get to be a part of this amazing kid's life.