The Rogers

Written in March of 2006

I have a weird thing about Sophia and other toddler adoptions...I love the mark when they are finally HOME as long as they weren't home. For us, it was yesterday. We celebrated our 2nd anniversary of bringing Sophia home. She was, of course, just right at 2 years old when we brought her home, and we celebrated her birthday that day with such joy.

Today I’m feeling warm and happy about the toddler adoption experience, but I admit to being a bit afraid of it initially. I was one of those who said "as young as possible" for my first and second adoptions, but I eventually ventured way out of the comfort zone and allowed myself to actually WANT a toddler. I knew it would be a different experience...and it WAS. IT wasn’t harder or worse but rather full of such incredible nuances and unique joys that you can have in no other way but on this particular journey.

It was all muddled up by Haiti's insane blow up (there was a coup d’etat in 2004 just as we were finalizing her adoption), and we couldn't spend the time in country winning her over slowly and visiting her birthmom.

It was muddled up by my sickness, and I couldn't figure out what part of the stress was illness and what was the transition process.

It was muddled up by the arrival of a NEWBORN all of a sudden, and mommy had to be gone without prepping her new toddler in all the ways I normally would have.

It was muddled up by a year of survival, and parents who were in shock and honestly just putting one foot in front of the other most days trying to get along with humor and love the best we knew how.

I can hardly believe she survived my lack of ability to control the details of her first year home. *grin* Indeed, this strong little woman survived being orphaned in a fourth world country, so why did I doubt her abilities and our great God?

I have learned more from her than she'll ever learn from me. The journey to bonding was beautiful and hard and personal and intense and fun. When she first arrived, I consistently felt she would have been happy to go home with the strangers in Target. I knew she was waiting to see if this was forever. She needed time...and so did I.

This last week she and I were sitting in church (I always take her into the music part by herself because we bond through music big time), and a lady I know walked up and teased "Hey little girl, you are so cute...why don't you sit with ME today?" and she leaned into me and grinned "Oh no, this is my momma. I'm staying here." I teared up-I still do when I type it. She is right. We lean in to each other and make it through. She is mine, and finally I am hers.

In the first weeks home it was spring in Missouri, and we had storms as we always do. I listened intently that night to see if she would wake up and need me. She did wake up, but as I approached the door to her bedroom, the sounds I heard were not crying-she was singing. She sang her way through that entire storm while I sat outside her door and quietly sobbed. What resilience. She was fresh in a country she did not know, hearing language she did not know, with a White mom she did not know, in a room she did not know, and somehow her spirit sang. I can only hope for so much in my own life. She inspires me.

So today I celebrate the daughter I've been allowed to have as my own. She is here as long as she wasn't, and we both are entirely different people now than we were then.

{The Rogers kids 2005}

{2009}

{The Rogers Tribe}

~Meri

The Nichols {Part 2}

Update: You have given $500 towards bringing Rediate Zahara home!!  Things are moving QUICKLY with this family...wouldn't it be amazing if they were fully funded by the end of this month?!  They have $3,500 left to go...please give from your heart; let's get.her.home!
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James 1:27 (CEV)

27Religion that pleases God the Father must be pure and spotless. You must help needy orphans and widows and not let this world make you evil.

Most Christians who have adopted children are familiar with the passage in James shown above. For our family, it has helped us see our calling in this world.

Prior to April 2010, we were a family of 4 children, Haley (18), Lydia (16), Zachary (7), and Ethan (7). Lydia, Zachary, and Ethan were all adopted. During the Fall of 2009, we were given an opportunity to give a home to two boys from Ethiopia whose parents had passed away. They were from an area of Ethiopia that spoke a language called Tigrinya, and they lived in an orphanage run by an adoption agency. After praying about it, we decided to give it a shot. Near the end of April 2010, we were able to bring Rewina (age 8) and Mulat (age 6) home to America to be part of our forever family. For those that have never adopted older children, it is filled with many surprises, and being able to go with the flow of these surprises has been part of our process of successfully blending our new children into our family.

One of the surprises we learned about from Rewina (now named Levi) and Mulat (now named Isaac) was an older sister, Letemeskel. They would tell us that Letemeskel would cook and clean for them. They also told us some sad stories, but it was clear that Letemeskel meant a great deal to them. They also told us that they were placed in an orphanage so “Letemeskel could eat.” After a lot of prayer and consideration, we came to the realization that by adopting Levi and Isaac, our family was now connected to their birth family. With this understanding, we asked ourselves: If any member of our family needed a place to live, wouldn't we open our home to them? Obviously, our answer to that question was yes, we would, and once we came to that answer and knowing that we are all part of God's family, we decided to try to give Letemeskel a home in America. At this point, we contacted our adoption agency and they were able to find her and let us know that we could adopt her. We knew financially it would be stretching things, but we knew if it was meant to be, God would provide a way for us.

In January of 2011, Susan made a trip to Ethiopia and met Letemeskel for the first time. When she was with her, she didn't leave her side for 2 days and slept right next to her that night in the guest house. During the time together Susan was able to see that she was going to be a tremendous gift to our family.

In April of 2011, Scott made the final trip to Ethiopia to complete the adoption of Letemeskel. While Scott was in Ethiopia, Levi was riding in the car with Ethan and Susan. It was a warm and quiet moment with Ethan and Levi both looking out the car window, and they shared this conversation together:

 Levi: "I like myself like dis."

Susan: "What do mean? "

Levi: "I really do believe now dat I can talk to God."

Susan:"Huh?"

Levi: "I didn't believe it in Ethiopia. I was like 4 or something. Now I believe it."

Susan "What do you mean Levi? Tell me more."

Levi, "Every night I say prayer, quietly, in Tigrinya. I say for my sister to come to America. I pray like you say. Now she come to America and I believe God hear me when I talk Tigrinya or English. My life is good now... I believe God hear me."....." I hear him too. "

{Pause}

Levi: "Mom, why you cry?"

Susan: "I am proud, happy."

Levi: "I do not understand girls cry when day happy."

Soon after this moment, Scott and Letemeskel arrived in America where Susan and the rest of the children were waiting at the security gate. Everyone was very excited, but Levi was jumping for joy and when they were able to embrace one another as they walked through the gate, it was a moment we will never forget. Tears of joy were shared all around and we are truly blessed to be given a gift such as this to reunite these children who are now part of our forever family.

One of the great lessons we have learned as we have fostered the growth of our family into one that crosses borders across the world is that we are not special. We are not especially gifted parents with unique skills that give us the ability to raise adopted children. However, it is God's grace that has been given to us that has raised us up into parents who can now appreciate and treasure that our children bring a wealth of different life experiences into our family that we can all share together. We now see that all children are from God's family that deserve parents who can give them a loving home that fulfills their needs. As we have walked with God, he has shown us that it is our duty as Christians to help fulfill the needs of the children of the world. There are a multitude of ways of doing this, and adoption was the path that we chose to follow.

Scott and Susan Nichols

http://nicholsfamilyzoo.blogspot.com/

The Nichols {Part 1}

Scott and I had been married less than a year when I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. I had felt a little lump under my arm and wanted to get it taken care of prior to getting pregnant. That little lump led to a biopsy that would change our lives forever. Cancer was seriously not part of my grand plan. I still wanted to have another child though and the darn cancer was holding up the show. It was getting in my way, my plan. I decided to take the most drastic measures to make sure that the cancer would not return. I had a bilateral mastectomy, 6 months of chemotherapy, followed by a couple months of radiation. The doctors had told me that all of these treatments would likely make me infertile.  That prognosis made me even more determined to not allow the cancer to rule my life. I would not give in. I would have a child with the man I so dearly loved and provide a sibling to my precious daughter. This was very important to me as I had only one brother whom I loved deeply. I had to do this for her.

I began to research adoption. I had always thought about it when I was a child but grew up in a broken home to very poor parents. I didn't think that it would ever actually be something that I could really do. It seemed out of my reach due to cost and lack of exposure to adoption itself. I had never known anyone who had adopted. Frankly, I had never known anyone who had breast cancer before either. So, while spent the next year in cancer treatment I pored over material on the internet for information about breast cancer, infertility and adoption. I learned so much that year. I had a great deal of time as the chemotherapy and radiation had left me so tired and weak I couldn't work as an RN, my profession. God knew exactly what He was doing.

Over that year I did not become infertile as we thought might be the case. I did, however, become very educated about how one person could change the life of a child in some dismal part of the world. I read for hours and hours about the suffering of children in Eastern European orphanages. How they are left alone, cold and hungry. I read about how children in China and India were never held for feeding; the bottles were simply propped up and then taken before they were finished. I read about babies being expected to sit on pots and pee on command. They would be physically punished for accidents. I also read about how children were overlooked due to their gender or a mild special need. The fight to beat cancer taught me to have the determination and tenacity to make international adoption a reality.

I would go on to contact an adoption agency locally that would help us write a homestudy and guide us to the country that was a good fit for us. I do remember that I finished the last day of my radiation and came home that evening to do our first homestudy visit. I wore a wig to cover my bald head. I was being called to make this happen. There was no greater tug my heart had felt than the one I felt toward adoption at that time. I felt that if I could just save one child, ONE, I would feel complete.

Zachary

My husband and I decided on Russia and a sibling group under the age of 4. I told the agency that I felt drawn toward an Asian child from Russia as they were discriminated against.  They were like second class citizens there. Within a couple of hours I received an email with at least 10 Asian babies from all over Russia. I can't really remember how many because I couldn't take my eyes off of one little boy. His dark eyes and puffy cheeks jumped from the page. I assumed he would have a special need as I couldn't imagine a child that beautiful had not been chosen by a family yet. The agency responded that his only special need was that he was of Asian decent and he was a boy. I still shake my head in confusion about my sweet amazing little boy of only 9 months at that time, being passed over due to him being Asian and a boy. He was healthy in every other way. So that was it, from the moment I looked at his face I knew he was my chosen one. We had thought we'd adopt a sibling group, but God had a different plan. He laughed lovingly at me and suggested once again that I just learn to follow him.

Ethan

After I went to Russia to meet my son Zachary, it was arranged for us to have second referral.  This time it was to be a blind referral. I had requested a girl. The referral for a girl was not meant to be. I was once again determined though and wouldn't leave Russia without a new referral. So, two weeks later the local authorities gave me a referral. They showed me a photo of a little boy who had a blank stare in his eyes. I went to meet this little boy. He was 11 months old and had been passed up by many families already. He was a premee being born 10 weeks early. I held him and he was stiff and stared at the lights above. His breath was heavy and his ribs retracted when he breathed. At first, he wouldn't make eye contact. When they brought his bottle, he didn't have the strength to suck the entire thing down. He gave up after only half a bottle. He was tiny and frail. I don't know how or why, but the Lord reached from his heart to mine and created a bond after only 1 hour that would be the strongest I had ever felt. He was my son. I looked into his little precious eyes and connected with him. My heart did not know the difference between the love I felt for him and the the love I feel for the daughter I gave birth to. Today it is only my mind that can tell the difference.

We went on through the process to adopt my two “waiting children.” Waiting because they were boys and because of the shape of their eyes. Waiting because one had been born too early and needed extra help. They waited because God knew they were my sons. He placed all these obstacles in my path to directing me to what His plan was in the very beginning. He placed the idea in my heart as a child. I thought I knew it all though and had a grand plan when I married Scott. All my children by the time I was 30. {Right! Ha}  He had a different plan.

One of our children, Ethan, did have some special needs that we discovered after he was in the US for a while. As it worked out, our precious son would not have lived without American medicine and treatments.  We would likely not have adopted a child with significant special needs at that time. This too was His plan.

There is a saying from Carolyn Macke Schwenzer that says, “ God doesn't give children with special needs to strong people; He gives children with special needs to ordinary, weak people and then gives them strength."

That saying is dear to our heart as each step of the way the Lord has led us down a different path than what we initially thought . Now, after 10 years and 6 children later, we try to just follow Gods path for us. He knows what he is doing.

God Bless,

Susan

http://nicholsfamilyzoo.blogspot.com/

Seven {the point...}

If you didn't have a chance to read yesterday's post, please stop and read it before you go any further {pretty please?!:)}

So, here's the story...I "met" Sarah Kologek a couple of months ago through our agency's yahoo group.  We discovered that we'd received our referrals just four days apart.  I also found out that their referral was not for a baby, but for a SEVEN year old precious little girl named Rediate.  Because of the fact that our Melia was about to turn SEVEN, the Kologek's story resonated deeply within my heart. 

Sarah and I have exchanged messages, prayers, and words of encouragement throughout the last couple of months and now YOU have an opportunity to help them bring their little girl home.  Find out how at the end of their story...

We are a Jesus-loving family of 3 - soon to be 4!! Through prayer and scripture, God has called us into His ministry of adoption. We feel blessed that He has chosen this path for us as a reflection of our own adoptions as His children. Our adoption journey officially began Jan. 21, 2011. After completing the initial wave of paperwork, Janet Jenkins worked with us to complete our Home Study, and we began the wait to be matched with the child God had chosen for us. After only waiting for 7 weeks, we officially accepted our referral from Children's Hope International November 14, 2011 for a healthy and beautiful 7 year old girl whose name means gift from God.

Rediate was born in Ethiopia in November 2004 (American calendar). Relinquished just 8 months ago due to the illness of her parents, she has become incredibly connected to the caregivers and children at the transition home.  During our initial visit to Ethiopia, we were amazed at what a giving and confident girl the Lord had placed in our lives. Rediate was immediately affectionate with us, and made a clear connection with our 8 year old daughter, Rowan. We passed court Feb 2, 2012 and we are now waiting for the call to travel back to Ethiopia to bring our daughter home.

One of the biggest reasons we felt we were called into His ministry of adoption was to open ourselves up to what God might do in our lives. We knew we had to grow in our dependence of the Lord. We have held numerous fundraisers and we have raised all but $4000 of our adoption costs. Praise God!! If we'd had the money up front, we would not have been as verbal as we have been about God's faith and love for His children and about how anything is possible with Him. To some, the cost may seem like a road block; to us, it was a sign that God is a part of our process. God has made it clear to us that He will provide the $4000 needed to complete this chapter of our story in His timing and through His people. We are so blessed to have so many people working hard to bring our daughter home into her forever family. Thank you all so much for being a part of our daughter's story, our story, our family in the making.

Sarah, Ian, Rowan, and Rediate Kologek

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

THE CHALLENGE

So, it occurred to me that WE...all of you and me could quickly and easily help the Kologeks bring sweet Rediate home.  Here's how...

Click HERE to pay by

Log into your PayPal account

Type in the amount you want to donate

Put sarahkologek@yahoo.com in the recipient

Submit

Done

You can select to donate as much as you feel led, but I'd like to challenge you to donate an amount that is significant to you. 

Maybe you'll select SEVEN, because Rediate is SEVEN years old.  Maybe you'll donate TWENTY-TWO because if you add up ages of your children, that's the sum.  Maybe you'll donate TEN because our little Bek is ten months old and you're helping to pray him home.  Maybe you'll donate FIFTY in honor of a significant someone's age. 

Whatever number you decide, be sure to note in the comment section WHY that amount is significant.

Ready?  Pray. Donate. Be Blessed.

 

Seven

Before our first "Adopting the Waiting Child" post {tomorrow!  EEK!  so excited!!}, I want to share something that God has laid on my heart. 

For just a minute, I want you to envision my sweet baby girl, Melia. 

In case you missed it, this amazing blessing from God just turned SEVEN!!

I cannot say enough about what Melia means to our family.  She is relishing in turning SEVEN and anytime she sees the number or someone says the number, she says "Mommy!  SEVEN...just like me!"  {She's a numbers kinda girl}.

Now I want you to envision what it would be like for our sweet girl if something happened and Trevor and I suddenly couldn't raise her.  Also, please imagine if there were no friends or family who were willing and able to take her in as their own.  Our sweet baby girl would be considered an orphan.  And, because of her age, SEVEN, she would be hard to place, a waiting child.

I share this not to be morbid, but, rather, to help give perspective to who would truly be considered a waiting child.

And, to plant a seed....

Adopting the Waiting Child 2012

Last February, we did a series on our little ol' blog called "Adopting the Waiting Child".  The series was born out of a tugging in my heart to bring an awareness about children who sit on waiting lists waiting for a mother and father to bring them home; a forever family.

The stories of the families that you read last year on our blog and those that you will meet this year highlight children who have waited for various reasons...they were "older" {a child who is over 2 is often overlooked by families looking to adopt because they are no longer infants}, they had minor to severe special needs, they were minorities in their birth country, or they were malnourished. 

These stories will also show what happens when we set aside our own personal agendas and fully rely on Christ.  He is a friend to the orphan and the Author of our own adoptions into His family.  Christ provides us with a beautiful picture of adoption when he allows us to become His children.

I pray that you do not take these stories lightly.  I pray that as you read them they will strike a chord in your heart and that you will respond.  Whether that means you research waiting children with an open heart asking God to reveal YOUR child to you or if it means you support someone as they pursue a waiting child, please be sensitive to what Christ wants to whisper into your heart through the stories of these families.

Lastly, the families who provided their stories will be reading their posts.  Please comment words of encouragement to each family freely. :)

**What's that?  You missed last year?!  Well, you're in for a treat...click here for Adopting the Waiting Child 2011.

Top Ten

Knowing that we have another month {roughly} before we will have a court date, I am resolving to make a top ten list of things to accomplish while we wait. I chose ten in honor of the fact that our little man turned

source

months old on Sunday. We got new pictures and it looks like he has really grown!!  Side note: We were told that he loves dum dum suckers {ah, the Chase sweet tooth...it transcends borders!} and in the most recent pictures, it appears that he is wearing underwear, which makes sense because they start potty training at 9 months!

Anyway, without further ado, the top ten things to get done before Bek turns 11 months...

Read a book from start to finish {book is selected and started...Kisses from Katie}

Memorize weekly scriptures each week {our church is doing "A Year with Jesus" and we are given a scripture card each week}

Have some "girl time" with just me and Melia

Go on a date with my hubby

Take Camden on a Mother/Son date

Send a present to a friend that has been super supportive in our adoption

Organize and carry out the "Adopting a Waiting Child" series the last half of February

Do t-shirt fundraiser~Adoption Rocks 2012

Finish taggie blankets {I have three that I just keep putting off! :) }

Get a pedicure and a haircut

OK, here I go...off to start my list! :)